the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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