break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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