the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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