the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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