Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Randomize
