Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
