You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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