If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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