I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
did i walk over a car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize