so explain again why im purple
no
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
