I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
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I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
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All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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