the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
This gyro tastes like lonliness
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
