I wish I could punch you in the face.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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