when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
