he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
