She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
