So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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