hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
People in love make me want to vomit
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
