as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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