dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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