my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
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Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
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We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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