Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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