Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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