You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
