Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
