I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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