i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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