Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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