everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
