Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
