oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
