I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
