Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
