Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
