So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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