god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
