it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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