Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
