dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
