I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
