I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
