my soul wont recognize me after tonight
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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