On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
