i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
