i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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