help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize