PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
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Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
This baby is an asshole
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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