It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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