I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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