Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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