Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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