Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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