you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
