I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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