3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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