I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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