We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
