i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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