yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
